Balancing the Imbalanced

Press Play

Greetings earth loves! I want to start this post off with a few questions to ask yourself. How’s your soul? What is one thing that you love about yourself? What is one thing that your friends and family love about you? I’m listening to Wouldn’t Mean a Thing by Bruno Major while I gather my thoughts.

Press play. No rewinding, no fast forwarding. Just press play.

This post stems from a recent event of me attempting to go backwards in hopes of reliving a failed relationship and wishing I could fast forward to the finish line. My long time followers are familiar with “the ex” that I always write about. A few weeks ago I reached out to him because, I simply missed him. I missed us. Well I missed the honeymoon stage us. After I sent the text, I created these internalized expectations. When he didn’t react in the way that I hoped for, I was crushed. When in reality, I only hurt myself by going backwards. Just because you miss someone from your past does not mean they are destined for your presence. Don’t sacrifice the wholeness you’ve created for yourself simply because you feel lonely. Don’t go backwards. It didn’t work out again with my ex and I because the universe was saving me from another heartbreak. The same person that hurt you, cannot heal you. 

Now to the fast forward. I am in four weddings in the span of 1 year. You see where I’m going with this? My best friends are all getting married and the excitement of the planning has me wondering, when will I get my chance to moonwalk down the aisle? I am finishing my last semester of graduate school and planning an imaginary wedding with a fake prince from Wakanda. Crazy, right? We want so badly to reach a place of unforeseen happiness. We want the husband, kids, and white picket fence. We’re so anxious for our future happy selves, that we forget that we are happy now. I am happy as a single woman. I am not yet where I want to be, but I am happy with where I am. Be mindful of your present, don’t rush any situation. You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner. So relax, breathe, and be patient.

Yours in love,

Jeeeze

1 thought on “Press Play”

  1. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I love everything about your transparency to share your doubts about love and your future. That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling. I have been on again and off again with my ex for four months now. I see it was more me then him who kept running back. It was the familiarity and comfort I wasn’t ready to yet let go of. I mustard the courage this weekend to let him know I’m really serious this time around. I’m not ready for all that he is ready for. I’m not ready to rush growing up and becoming a mother. Especially when I have some doubts about our relationship that always lingers in the back of my head. I say all of this to say, thank you! Thank you for your words. Thank you for your vulnerability that is really strength. It takes a strong person to stare at themselves and want more and believe for more. Love you Jess!

    Liked by 1 person

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